It's my birthday. Celebrate, bitches!

Well, my birthday festivities started out last night with some friends at the bar, good times had by all. The birthday festivities are going end tomorrow night with a blow-out at Le Rob's. Stories to be posted asap. In the meantime, here are some select quotes from last nights festivities.

Strange, 40 year old lesbian: "So are you guys all bisexuals?"
Me: "...No. We're all straight."
Strange, 40 year old lesbian: "Oh, I thought you were all bisexual."
Me: [Uncomfortable] "Um, no."

Friend: "I dare you to simulate sex with one other person in the room while pretending to be a washing machine."

Friend: "I like big nuts and I cannot lie."

Me: "I dare you to do your best riverdance impression while screaming out your worst obscenities like you have tourret syndrome."

Strange, 40 year old lesbian: "Twenty-two? You're way out of my league!"
Friend: "She also doesn't have a penis. Except for the twelve inch pink, plastic one. I've seen it."
Me: "It's true."
Strange, 40 year old lesbian: "Well, seeing as I'm a lesbian, it doesn't really make a difference."
Friend: "...I am so sorry, I didn't know."
Me: "That shut you up."
Friend: "It certainly did."