The Electrified Sexy Machine aka Celebrate, bitches! Pt. II

So. Friday night marked Rachel's birthday celebration... Part two!!! Thanks to Le Rob and Jenny, we can relive that night forever in digital pictures!! Oh, what a time to be alive. So here we go, Dead Disco Presents: A Photo Essay - Rachel's Birthday

Upon my arrival, I was presented a gift from Jenny called The Mulder, a drink composed of vodka and orange concentrate. My friends, if you think this tastes like a screwdriver, you are wrong. It is completely hideous and disgusting, only suitable for obsessed FBI agents who witnessed their sisters abduction when they were twelve. I once told Jenny that I could out-X-Files her any day, thus, she presented this to me asking me to name the episode it was from. And, oh, I knew. "Syzygy", my friends, season three. Yes, I am undefeated. And slightly pathetic.

Jenny also came bearing these:

Oh yes. It was a good night.

The night started with a wild game of Life, that was canned midway through due to lack of concentration caused by the Mulder and the jello shots. All I know, is before the game ended, I became a cop, had a lesbian wedding with Madonna and had a baby girl.

Rob, myself and Phil make sweet love to Jenny's jello. You heard me.

Maggie and Luke show us why our drunken card games never last.

Nicole Ritchie called and told me she wanted her look back. So I threatened to make her eat food and she backed off.

...And then Sheeman and I tag-teamed her. True story.*

*May not actually be true.

I don't know what Rob's holding in this picture, but I'm fairly confident that he is about to place it on his nipple. He's like that.

Rob: [in serious voice] "Look, I need to tell you something really important. [whispers] I'm drunk."

The Mulder and I, looking rather pissed to be having our picture taken.

Jenny: "I can totally deep throat that camera."

That is my wrist, with a quote from Rob written on it. It says "I'm one fucked up whore." He said this after seeing a picture of himself where he claims he "looks like a monkey caught in the act of masturbating." Unfortunately, I do not have a copy of this Kodak moment. However, I will say this: It does involve nipples... as usual.

This is Jenny's arm with one of her quotes written on it, such quote being "If you have the power clit that I do..." I don't remember much from this conversation, other than something about an electric toothbrush. I'll leave it at that.

The quote written on the back of my arm would be my own proclamation to Luke that "if [he] had an electrified sexy machine [he] couldn't out-sexy us."

...And this would be the picture that provoked it. You see that glint of sexy confidence in our eyes? Nope, it's just the booze.

But Luke still couldn't out-sexy us. Moving on.

Speaking of Luke, this is him accusing me of something. Most likely the fact that I may or may not have attacked him with pennies and fake kung-fu moves upon his refusal to moon the cars passing by. Not to leave anyone disapointed, we had our fair share of exhibitionism from Jenny, which will not be displayed here. Jello shots, the Mulder, and partial nudity, that Jenny knows how show a girl a happy birthday!

And thanks to Le Rob for allowing us to convene in his apartment, annoy his neighbours and witness the revival of drunk Rob, whom we all know and love.

All in all, a happy birthday!


Anonymous ro-ib said...

I'm glad you had an awesome time, you sure do deserve it for looking so god-damned sexy in those glasses!

6:14 PM  
Anonymous Jenny said...

Your commentary makes me laugh very hard, and pee myself a little. Just kidding. You are definitely the true X-Phile of the bunch.

Get it? It's a pun.

I wish I could hold The Mulder... but... the real one... *drool*

12:18 PM  

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