P.I.M.P.
50 Cent Avoids Jail
The conditions that Fiddy needs to uphold in order to avoid jail are:
1. He must take an anger management course.
"Hello, my name's Fiddy and I have a problem."
This will be said before he threatens the teacher at gunpoint, steals his wallet and then brings in his hoochies with the milk and honey.
2. He must make an educational anti-violence video.
I find it kinda sad that the only way he'll make an anti-violence video is to avoid jailtime. As oppose to, y'know, doing it for the sake of teaching his young fans that shooting that guy who stole your bike IS NOT THE ANSWER.
3. He must undergo random drug testing for two years.
Bahhhahahahahhahahaaahaaaa! BURN. He's going to fail this.
4. He must pay out-of-pocket medical expenses to the three alleged victims.
Good.
5. He must not carry a gun in Massachusetts.
Well... That's nice for those fine people in Massachusetts. But what about the rest of us out there in areas with no gun bans on 50 Cent? It's okay for him to carry a gun in New York, but y'know, not Massachusettes! That would be dangerous! And I know I'm in Canada, so technically, there are federal laws requiring Fiddy to go gunless, but I find it hard to believe that when he tours Canada, he leaves his guns at home. It's nice to know that a man who needs ANGER MANAGEMENT classes is allowed to carry a gun. The world is not safe. Well, Massachusetts is.
The conditions that Fiddy needs to uphold in order to avoid jail are:
1. He must take an anger management course.
"Hello, my name's Fiddy and I have a problem."
This will be said before he threatens the teacher at gunpoint, steals his wallet and then brings in his hoochies with the milk and honey.
2. He must make an educational anti-violence video.
I find it kinda sad that the only way he'll make an anti-violence video is to avoid jailtime. As oppose to, y'know, doing it for the sake of teaching his young fans that shooting that guy who stole your bike IS NOT THE ANSWER.
3. He must undergo random drug testing for two years.
Bahhhahahahahhahahaaahaaaa! BURN. He's going to fail this.
4. He must pay out-of-pocket medical expenses to the three alleged victims.
Good.
5. He must not carry a gun in Massachusetts.
Well... That's nice for those fine people in Massachusetts. But what about the rest of us out there in areas with no gun bans on 50 Cent? It's okay for him to carry a gun in New York, but y'know, not Massachusettes! That would be dangerous! And I know I'm in Canada, so technically, there are federal laws requiring Fiddy to go gunless, but I find it hard to believe that when he tours Canada, he leaves his guns at home. It's nice to know that a man who needs ANGER MANAGEMENT classes is allowed to carry a gun. The world is not safe. Well, Massachusetts is.
posted by vivahate at 1:01 PM
6 Comments:
Fiddy scares me. There is something about him that strikes me as cannablistic. I wish rappers wore less ice, and had less "ho's" in their videos. It makes me uncomfortable, don't they realise how stupid they look? It's like seeing someone embarass themselves. You feel bad for them.
Cannabilistic
That's the best word EVER to describe fiddy. I don't know why, but it's just right.
And yes, rappers need to stop with the bling and the hoes and the cars and the milk and the honey and the money that they quite obviously spend on rims. IT NEEDS TO STOP, IT HURTS MY BRAIN.
I like what Ed the Sock said this one time about how rediculous it is that rappers are seen in videos throwing away cash (literally, I've seen videos where they grasp it and then like let it fly away?! WTF! It's MONEY) when they are attempting to gain favour with 'the everyman' who obviously doesn't throw away cash. Why do people buy their shit? Honestly.
GOD DAMN YOU BLOGGER!
I just posted a reply and I don't think it went through. Just thought I'd mention.
It DID go throw! I'm not anonymous tho... Why is blogger messing with me? I feel very JLoHew right now. I need a white see thru tank-top and to scream "WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FORRRRR?"
Bring it on fish-hook.
I feel as though I don't even need to respond, as you seem capable of carrying this conversation on with yourself.
As for the tank top, I'm sure it will go well with the sweat. Just make sure it shows off your cleavage.
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