"White trash get down on your knees, time for cake and sodomy."

Above: Pop star/fashion disaster Avril Lavigne rocks out with her cock out while proving society's lack of need for trucker hats.

ATTN: Woman on bus who was the closest thing to white trash I've ever seen (And I come from a small, small town)

I want to thank you for playing your discman super, super loud so everyone on the bus can hear your nifty Avril Lavigne CD. I also want to thank you for passionately mouthing the lyrics, putting the rest of us on the bus in that awkward position between "Look away, don't stare, pretend you don't notice the incredible lack of coolness, one might say, a black hole of coolness, sitting across from me" and "Oh my God, I'm going to stare at her and mock her with my hateful eyes because if you're going to listen to Avril Lavigne, you deserve to be eye-mocked."

I'd also like to thank you for getting that god awful, redundant Avril song in my head. Y'know, that song. The annoying one. No, the other one.

FAG

1. Go here.
2. Pass it on.

1.~How did you meet dangerlad? We were on a ship that went down in the pacific, where we washed up on an island. We made instruments out of coconuts and formed a band called the I Know Kung Fus.
2.~What would you do if you had never met dangerlad? I'd probably be dead in a ditch. Or rich and famous. One or the other.
3.~What do you honestly think of dangerlad? He's a faggottyassFaggot. But that only deepens my love.
4.~Would or did dangerlad and dangerlad go out? No, but if he could date himself, I'm fairly confident he would be all over himself like stink on a monkey.
5.~Have you ever liked dangerlad? You should see my giant Rob shrine in my closet. Ha ha, it's in the closet. I made a funny.
6.~If dangerlad died tomorrow, what is one thing that you would need him/her to know? I would just avenge his death with a death ray.
7.~Would murmul and dangerlad make a good couple? As long as Phil doesn't kill Rob. Because that would suck.
8.~Describe dangerlad in 3 words: Fag, faggy, faggot.
9.~Do you think dangerlad is hot? He's a sexy mofo.
10.~Would dangerlad and dangerlad make a lovely couple? Lovely, if not creepy.
11.~What do you think of when you see dangerlad? Paris Hilton as a drag queen.
12.~Tell me something humiliating about dangerlad: Um.... running out of time... so I will just say..... FAG
13.~Do you know any of dangerlad's family members? I met his sister, who is far cooler than he is.
14.~What's dangerlad's favorite color? He tells me blue.
15.~On a scale of 1-10 how cute is dangerlad? A million.
16.~What would you do if dangerlad just professed their undying love for you? Marry him until he cheated on me with the sad dude from the OC
17.~What language does dangerlad speak? Fag
18.~Who is dangerlad going out with? He has an assortment of boyfriends.
19.~Is dangerlad a boy or a girl? Fagboy
20.~Would dangerlad and dangerlad make a good couple? already answered.
21.~Who do you think dangerlad would be great with from this list? It's between himself and Jenny so I'm going to say... Himself.
22.~When was the last time you talked to dangerlad? I'm talking to him right now.
23.~What is dangerlad's favorite band? He LOVES Rod Stewart and his daughter.
24.~Does murmul have any siblings? Indeed.
25.~Would you ever date dangerlad? We would be the bitchiest, cattiest couple ever and just bitch and cat at all other couples. Until he cheated on me with the sad guy from the OC.
26.~Would you ever date dangerlad? See above.
27.~Is dangerlad single? He's married to the sea(men).
28.~What is dangerlad's last name? Bain
29.~What is dangerlad's middle name? Keith James
30~What is dangerlad's fantasy? It involves being rich and famous and male celebrities in cages.
31.~Where does dangerlad live? Guelph/Mississauga/Fagtown
32.~Would you make out with dangerlad? I'd catch fag from him.
33.~Are dangerlad and dangerlad best friends? When they're not bitching about eachother behind they're faggy backs.
34.~Does dangerlad like dangerlad? They'd probably cat fight if they met.
35.~How did you meet dangerlad? I explained this already. Ship, coconuts, band.
36.~Is dangerlad older than you? Negatory.
37.~Is dangerlad the sexiest person alive? Oh course.

The Electrified Sexy Machine aka Celebrate, bitches! Pt. II

So. Friday night marked Rachel's birthday celebration... Part two!!! Thanks to Le Rob and Jenny, we can relive that night forever in digital pictures!! Oh, what a time to be alive. So here we go, Dead Disco Presents: A Photo Essay - Rachel's Birthday



Upon my arrival, I was presented a gift from Jenny called The Mulder, a drink composed of vodka and orange concentrate. My friends, if you think this tastes like a screwdriver, you are wrong. It is completely hideous and disgusting, only suitable for obsessed FBI agents who witnessed their sisters abduction when they were twelve. I once told Jenny that I could out-X-Files her any day, thus, she presented this to me asking me to name the episode it was from. And, oh, I knew. "Syzygy", my friends, season three. Yes, I am undefeated. And slightly pathetic.

Jenny also came bearing these:



Oh yes. It was a good night.



The night started with a wild game of Life, that was canned midway through due to lack of concentration caused by the Mulder and the jello shots. All I know, is before the game ended, I became a cop, had a lesbian wedding with Madonna and had a baby girl.



Rob, myself and Phil make sweet love to Jenny's jello. You heard me.



Maggie and Luke show us why our drunken card games never last.



Nicole Ritchie called and told me she wanted her look back. So I threatened to make her eat food and she backed off.



...And then Sheeman and I tag-teamed her. True story.*

*May not actually be true.



I don't know what Rob's holding in this picture, but I'm fairly confident that he is about to place it on his nipple. He's like that.



Rob: [in serious voice] "Look, I need to tell you something really important. [whispers] I'm drunk."



The Mulder and I, looking rather pissed to be having our picture taken.



Jenny: "I can totally deep throat that camera."



That is my wrist, with a quote from Rob written on it. It says "I'm one fucked up whore." He said this after seeing a picture of himself where he claims he "looks like a monkey caught in the act of masturbating." Unfortunately, I do not have a copy of this Kodak moment. However, I will say this: It does involve nipples... as usual.



This is Jenny's arm with one of her quotes written on it, such quote being "If you have the power clit that I do..." I don't remember much from this conversation, other than something about an electric toothbrush. I'll leave it at that.



The quote written on the back of my arm would be my own proclamation to Luke that "if [he] had an electrified sexy machine [he] couldn't out-sexy us."



...And this would be the picture that provoked it. You see that glint of sexy confidence in our eyes? Nope, it's just the booze.

But Luke still couldn't out-sexy us. Moving on.



Speaking of Luke, this is him accusing me of something. Most likely the fact that I may or may not have attacked him with pennies and fake kung-fu moves upon his refusal to moon the cars passing by. Not to leave anyone disapointed, we had our fair share of exhibitionism from Jenny, which will not be displayed here. Jello shots, the Mulder, and partial nudity, that Jenny knows how show a girl a happy birthday!

And thanks to Le Rob for allowing us to convene in his apartment, annoy his neighbours and witness the revival of drunk Rob, whom we all know and love.

All in all, a happy birthday!